•♥••♥•♥•♥••♥•♥•♥••♥••♥•♥•♥••♥•♥•♥••♥••♥•♥•♥••♥•♥•♥•

♥?

2009-01-22T23:46:27Z

♥♥♥•♥♥♥

2008-12-06T14:39:37Z

I, yet again, prove myself not to be a good choice for a powerful role in society. I want to just make everyone happy, because I was taught that happiness came making others happy.

Well, it never works.

I should really be a hardass. When I get friendly, I get all the slack work. When I get friendly, no one talks to me - they talk to my advantages. They ask me for things - they never return the favor. They smile and walk away and proceed to ignore me. I am not a friend - I'm a guidance counselor, a technician, an organizer to these people.

So I've cancelled the participation in one sided conversations. I don't get chatty anymore; I won't speak harshly of someone to be favorable to others. I come in to do work, and it gets done. That boils their water even more, my work ethic has always been work before everything else. I can finally relate to my boss - I don't know whether that's a good thing or not. If you are meant to lead must you always struggle with the dynamics of being liked? He is never chatty to anyone. It hardens my heart but it's like finally seeing the light - you just can't be both.

As far as my life goes it's been pretty downhill, but I know at a point something has to give. At work I have had some spare time so I just close my eyes, put in my earphones, and listen to This American Life podcasts - something I haven't been able to do in a while. It made me smile. No one really knows what I listen to at work, whether it be a weird techno mix, hard rap with lots of cursing, maybe even something in a language I can't even speak. It lets me be myself even if no one can see it. These songs and words are my true friends - they don't create bonds out of spite and mean spirit; this is a world they can never come into or destroy.

~_~ Must go clean raw files ^^;;

mintrain @ 2008-12-04T18:15:00

2008-12-04T23:18:27Z

Why does everyone have to be horrible to me? I bend over backwards to please them and all I ask in return is some deceny. But people still look down on me, say hateful things, and treat me poorly. What did I do wrong, what do I do that's so wrong? I just want to be liked - not to be popular or loved. I can't even get treated nicely.

I don't see a reason to even breathe at the moment; I'm feeling quite low today.

•♥I'M STILL AWAKE♥•

2008-11-23T09:20:09Z

I guess getting up at 1am will be enough. It's been a while since I've stayed up to see the sun rise (if it comes outside today, who knows!)

The first snow was ah...two weeks ago? Three weeks? Nothing has really stuck yet. It snowed Friday but was gone by Saturday morning.

Since Thanksgiving is coming up this week (!!!) I decided to get rid of my ridiculous amount of coconut. (My older sister loves to buy in bulk and gave me 6 bags in the summer x_x) I was going to make a coconut pie since old people seem to love it (Well here anyways). But then I realized there is a difference between Coconut Cream Pie and Coconut Custard Pie and I'm more than certain they like the Custard version, which someone on allrecipes.com claimed was "an East Coast thing".

Ah the differences in food. The other day I found pickled watermelon and I was like "Who eats this?!" but that didn't stop me from buying it. I must know. I just.... my curiousity with food is damning. One thing I do not enjoy is Chicken fried steak, a southern dish.

Do I like deep fried? Hell Yes!

Do I like gravy? Yeah it's okay sometimes...

Do I like steak? I do enjoy it once in a while.

Do I like that together? .... I've had it and it was the closest to a heart attack I've ever felt in my life. x_x I hope y'all don't eat this on a regular basis. The gravy is ruining the fried part, do you not realize that? Or am I not eating this fresh enough?

Also: I don't eat Turkey on Thanksgiving. Nothing should have to die for a holidays sake. Plus it was almost our national bird. (Then we wouldn't be able to eat it? I don't know how that works. Has anyone tried to eat an Eagle?) Viva la Turkey Resistance! or something.

•♥•♥•saturday•♥•♥•

2008-11-23T06:22:34Z

woah. what?!

I went shopping this morning, and decided to take a nap afterwards.. Good thing I had nothing else to do today as I fell asleep at 2:30 pm... and didn't WAKE UP UNTIL 1 AM.

I've had such long weeks at work. The project would have gone to press on time if the client wasn't so complainy. But it probably won't because he still has issues he won't sent out and if I have to come in on the break (Thanksgiving is next week in the states) I will probably hurt someone... but do it. I will do it, get this project done, and never work for this clown again. I can't believe someone can be like this. It's not hurting me, I can wait forever while he bitches. He's only hurting himself not going to press now. Whatever, lose more money in this economy dummy.

•♥•♥•wednesday•♥•♥•

2008-11-05T09:42:22Z

I don't have time to take your crap!

Ah, I have a short fuse this week.

I work on a project alone, an entire publication where I do everything but take the photographs. My boss did some stuff, but last Friday before he sneaked out for the weekend (1pm on a Friday) he wrote me in an email that he wanted me to pick up the rest of the slack and leave him out of the project.

(Walks into his office, takes out baseball bat and swings)

It's hard to work for him as he's not a good person outside of work too. He gets frustrated over little things so I tend to steer clear of his office. But I had to ask him something yesterday morning because that person was on vacation and his reply was to:

1) Remind me I'm working on this alone (he won't even try to help me)
2) STFU and get back to work

And then he goes and arranges to take an hour to bitch about something this morning in a meeting. How do I know it will take him an hour for a meeting? He takes for.ev.er. To say no.thing. I will give him five minutes to make a point.......... then I'm packing up my stuff, picking up my coffee and going straight back to my cubicle to work.

♥ Remedy for rage ♥

__ Online Clothes Shopping
__ Online Food Shopping (NO WAIT I'LL GET FAT >_<)
__ Needs more remedies for rage

I think I know the answer. CLOTHES. haha XD

•♥•♥•sunday•♥•♥•

2008-10-26T17:31:07Z

Ah, fall is in the air. When I walk home I smell burning wood, hear sounds of crunching leaves, and bask in the warm light of pumpkin candle glow (nice) and tacky strings of halloween lights (lame). I hate the foliage actually, because today I just swept up 7 tall leaf bags worth!! (shoves to curb, cries)
It took me two hours and my hands are about to have blisters, and I gotta work with those hands (to a point, haha) ~_~;; stupid trees. (<-wishes she had more pine trees)

This weekend I've scanned through most of the j-dramas (downloaded almost like every first episode of every series >_<;) I don't think I really care to follow any... Kaze no Garden I'm keeping because I like the cinematography; the story is pretty sad though.. and I might keep watching Celeb to Binbo Taro... I'm not one for Ueto Aya dramas (she gets paired up with older guys a lot.. or the stories are just.. hmm). But this one really fits her youthful image and shows off style. I like her commercials with the weird family where her dad is a dog. XD

This whole week I've barely cleaned my house because I'm too busy playing Mother 3!!!! It's a great RPG! I love Mother 2, my fav game of all time XD Now I'm paying for it because the house is totally a mess! I'll be cleaning every morning and night for days ~_~ Oh well.

•♥•♥•sunday•♥•♥•

2008-10-12T19:06:13Z

I'm having the worst weekend EVER. EVER.

I just want to go back to sleep. I'm so angry. :/

•♥•♥•monday•♥•♥•

2008-09-29T17:08:43Z

I'm so sick to the stomach about the bailout stuff.

Also I have a client being a jerk about payment. It's a good thing I have SECURE clients and not just freelancing for individuals. Stop pretending you don't have to pay anything for what I do. Don't stiff me because you think I'm underneath you.

With the way the economy is, I'll never be able to upgrade to CS4. ^^;;

•♥•♥•tuesday•♥•♥

2008-09-23T23:40:07Z

ah, I have things to do tomorrow. Gotta get up early.

Today I thought about whether it's still acceptable weather for drinking iced coffee. Have I already had my last of the season? It's getting too cold now, and I'm certain my local 7-11 will turn off the coffee machine soon. :( boo.

I accepted a short term job that kind of wraps up before christmas time. I feel like planning a trip to coincide with that being over and not showing up to any family event. Would that be mean of me? They bother me every year asking the same questions... It's boring.

Maybe I'll refuel the economy by taking a trip to Hawaii in January. Hahah.. Expensive. >_<;

•♥•♥•thursday•♥•♥•

2008-09-18T20:38:35Z

I changed my theme again. When I have too much time on my hands I WILL get into things and destroy them. Later today I might have an interesting post or something. Maybe ~_~

•♥•♥•wednesday•♥•♥•

2008-09-17T22:22:19Z

I can no longer stand my hair. It got cut a month ago, but I had to go to a wedding and keep it long.
I've had it long for a long time. The last time I had it short was in highschool, and it was a pretty tragic cut that made me upset for at good portion of a month. I think I'd be okay with it now, not having to use so much shampoo or pick up loose hairs in places. Not to mention I have a habit of putting my hair up anyways so ~_~ It looks like a lions mane and not hair. I'm gonna schedule a cut ASAP and I'll buy some chocolate for when I cry about it when I get home. XD (hairdressers are evil...)

•♥•♥•tuesday•♥•♥•

2008-09-17T07:03:55Z

>_<

So I like to make fun of Taiyo to Umi no Kyoshitsu because it's kind of cheese-tastic.

But when I have extra time and extra space I'll download an episode or two and play it when I'm working on other stuff (I like to be mean to my computer like that ^^;). Well, I usually watch and delete with series I don't regularly follow. I watched two weeks ago by chance again and suddenly the song that plays at the end (a song in english sung by Oda Yuji, something he does frequently) ended up being the opener. At first I thought "Oda Yuji really wants to sell them CDs" but then I thought "wait something bad is going to happen..." And then of course, the ending had Simon and Garfunkels "Sound of Silence" to set the mood. Then the next week... and this week too it played. If I were to think about this drama anymore.. it would be this insert song now. This week truly pulled the heart strings. There were many, many scenes of a funeral. I bawled my eyes out even though I hadn't watched all the episodes. There's a saying I'd like to use, but a precursor I'd like to add:

Jokesters have good hearts;
and only the good die young.

•♥•♥•tuesday•♥•♥•

2008-09-17T02:42:43Z

Ahhhh I can't sleep. But that's okay, I need to clean up my studio and it's trash day. I think I always talk about cleaning up so I don't have to do it. Yes, talking about it will make it go away.. ~_~;;

I have to do two projects for friends but I don't know how to approach them. One will be in an unjuried exhibit. So I can do anything I want and just go "I DID IT BECAUSE IT IS ART" and not get in trouble. I might do a flash piece, but that would require more than a days worth of work, not to mention mixing some music to go along with it.

The other one I have some limit to, it has to be a certain size, but can also almost be anything. I was thinking of making tiny prints or cards for the new year. Not necessarily "new years cards". Maybe I could do valentines day cards, and be ahead of the curve. ^^;;

Alright, I keep putting off this cleaning. Must drag trashcan to curb, and try not to wake up neighbors... >_<

mintrain @ 2008-09-15T02:09:00

2008-09-15T06:50:21Z

○ a meme from the lovely ai. ♥ ○
five characters with R names...

Okay, so R isn't THAT hard of a letter to work with. I got a bunch that got cut, (Oh come on Echizen Ryoma XD, but I DIDN'T! See below post for others I didn't add but almost did...)

1. Romeo (Not that Romeo) from Romeo's Blue Skies
In the original book, The Black Brothers, the main character was named Giorgio. I guess "Giorgio's Blue Skies" didn't sound as good to the Japanese producers for this World Masterpiece Theater anime. Romeo is a poor boy who suffers through the brutal life of being a chimney sweeper in Milan during the 1800s. It's probably my favorite anime.

2. Rudolph
How many days until Christmas?!
I like "misfit" claymation Rudolph the best. ♥

3. Robin Hood
Robin Hood is a manly man - all living in the forest and stealing from the rich and uh....killing people with arrows. >_< There are many variations of him and I don't have a particular favorite; the picture is the BBC television Robin Hood played by Jonas Armstrong. Someone almost or does get hung every week on that show....@_@

4. Roger Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Double the R! I liked watching Roger Rabbit as a kid, The blending of 2D animation and live action video. It's good stuff!~

5. Rin from Usagi Drop
Without Rin, there is no story to Usagi Drop. It's interesting to see the cohabitation of the reserved-bachelor Daikichi and the getting-sassier-by-the-minute Rin. Although the situation seems stretched if you were thinking about this in real life, it is by no means impossible and a family unit out there might be just like them. I don't want to ruin too much of their relationship if you haven't read the manga. ♥

○ Okay so now for the unused characters (which I could have used, but didn't!) ○
Rocky, The Riddler, Rika Harada (Honey & Clover), Rei (March Comes in Like a Lion) ^^

mintrain @ 2008-09-14T01:07:00

2008-09-14T06:11:24Z

I watched Cat Street last night, I don't know why I'm doing an entry on this but um, hm. I don't know.

I never read the manga, but I felt (needed) confirmation on whether the stage play in the story titled Sunny was called Sunny in the manga too, or it was in fact Annie. Because c'mon. Those red dresses. It is actually called Sunny in the manga. Let me say right now if you want to download the show it's pretty good. But if you listen to the children sing the "friends are amazing" song more than 4 times you might have nightmares. @_@

I wanted to read a little bit of the manga to get an idea of what is going to happen next, and in doing that I got curious about the characters. In particular one Suzuki Gouta, a person who can't talk on the show (from stuttering apparently).
That character isn't in the manga. And yes, a character in the manga got cut from the show. It got me confused looking at the manga and then back at the show.

I feel this has a lot more to do with actors and actresses weight on a production than keeping with a story. For example, Hanazakari no Kimitachi E. I didn't read the whole series, but Sano had a lot of scenes in the manga that were cut on the show. Why is that? "A big cast!" one might say, but the truth is that Oguri Shun who played Sano was working on other projects - at the same time. I can't believe they let that go on. But alas...

In this case, the idea might have been to streamline the story because it may get confusing with only having six episodes. But why ax a character only to add a different new one? Since I didn't read the manga, I have no right to be mad. I feel sorry for those who may be a little ticked. Try not to get too disheartened Cat Street fans, maybe the main character Keito is in a parallel universe looking in too many windows this time around. At least she didn't make best friends with the girl who cut flowers.

can't sleep. must work.

2008-09-10T03:02:09Z

I just got back from a lecture, gotta clean the house but I don't wanna. :/

It was nice to get outside; when I go to the city it's usually on the weekends so there is barely anyone around - especially out on the streets. I forgot that I hate when people walk slowly in front of me and when people listen to ring tones while I drive to doze off on the train. ~_~ I remember now. Thanks, city.

Also there are boys. I'm in one of those "I'm in love with every boy" moods. A boy let me go onto the train before him! I love him. A boy looked at me on the train! I love him. -_-; Anyone who is not wearing slacks or pants is generally thrown into the boy category.... who could possibly end up being younger than I am, thus making me feel really awkward and run away. The problem lies with me. I tend to dress like I'm still in college, and sound like a child even on the phone (where I tell the spam callers no one of voting age is available at my house to conduct their survey ^^;). I get away with looking like a child and it's all well and good until it's not. When I saw all the university students waiting for the train at the one stop, I felt a little weird.

But looking does not count so..... Right now, I'm in love with every boy.

still alive?!

2008-09-07T22:06:30Z

sorry for not replying to everyone lately. been really busy with work x_x

• I get this feeling that if I change the format of this livejournal it will be spammed with ads since it's a free account •
(fights urge to change layout)

Right now I have one of those monster clients. Someone who thinks because I've only been freelancing for a year they can boss me around. She has horrible spelling and grammar (the gruesome twosome) that I fix constantly...
but I can't keep up with it when she adds like three pages every couple of days to her project. The lady cannot copywrite at all. But I try (when I can) to read everything and fix it, since it's part of my job (doesn't care at this point what she really writes). She bothers me by writing my name on the faxes talking down to me, or puts "Good job" like I'm a child. (:rage:)

Some things I've liked lately:

Manga
Koko ni Iru Yo!
Usagi Drop (read it!)

(What happened with Spicy Pink???? It started out okay, then went downhill..
then had all this storyline stuff only to end... like that? Weird..) Total rubbish.

Movies
I read a review for Detroit Metal City. Man, I so wanna see it more now. It looks fun.
I also read a review for Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Michael Cera please stop playing the same person time and time again.

busy as can be(e)

2008-06-14T22:29:18Z

I spend far too long writing cover letters. Cover letters are just a peek into yourself, but they are also
powerful word handshakes. I deliberately immerse myself in a companys practice, history, and future.
For what? Half the time there are no call backs. For shame.

Doing freelance graphic design can be painstakingly difficult if you know your client is resistent
to change, or they have a case of "I know what I want, but I don't know what I want". I have to
steer them in the right direction. I get a lot of clients that use buzz words BUZZ WORDS when I
truly believe people are more receptive to a company that is open and honest. Tell the world
a little about yourself, and you will be more welcomed than someone trying to cram a product
down peoples throats. You may think your ideas are new and creative but 80% of the time they are not.

A sidenote of recently: I am sick and tired of weddings. Note to future self as follows:

Future self : whether it be tommorow, next week, next year, or there-after:

Weddings suck. They are like the worst things ever. If you should ever THINK about getting married,
think again. But should it actually be on the table, just go out and do it. Throw a party afterwards.

Signed,

The better looking (well youthful looking) you.

the river. IT SMELLS

2008-06-09T02:38:53Z

I must be delirious. My arms hurt so bad. Stupid Dragon Boats. :(

;___;

shoes!

2008-05-26T20:35:31Z

The library at my college had scores of international fashion magazines.
When I had the free time to peruse the racks, I'd sift through some
high end French magazines. I must stress that I never gleaned an ounce
of fashion etiquette from this. It does not come easy to me, and I hate to shop.

Yes, I loathe all shopping except for the kind dispensed by a magical click of
placing an order on the internet. Who would think it would be just as satisfying
to place an order online as you don't immediately get the item, but anyways...

If I do buy something stupid online it's shoes. But I walk here, there,
everywhere. I take pride in my shoes since I don't even wear shirts with patterns
or sayings on them. Yes, I am pure and 'basic' as it gets. But the shoes I wear.. well..
they're kind of awkward. My friends tease me because it's the summer, and while I
do buy a lot of pairs of shoes I hate sandals or any shoes that really expose my feet.

The other day I was looking through scans of some japanese magazines.
These shoes are from the magazine KERA. I wouldn't think of myself to wear
any clothing styles from that magazine; I laugh but I really feel those people
have some cool and strong styles. The middle pair of shoes is piano keys styled!
The left shows a 'gladiator' type of shoe that is a popular summer style even
here, the far right styled shoe looks like you might give you sweaty feet! ^^;;

Although I think those piano keys are wacky.. there are wacky
shoes from all over the world ^^;

The left and middle shoe in this picture are from Irregular Choice, a UK brand
of shoes. The name is fitting. I don't know if I'd ever get caught dead in the
left style of shoes. ^^;; The middle I find fantastically cute but might be hard
to walk in, I don't know if I could pull off the look either ^^; and the right
shoe is a mixture between crocodile pattern and cherries from Trisha,
a brand from South Korea.

I know these are a little 'extreme' as far as footwear goes, but I find if you
don't overdo it sometimes you can pull crazy shoes off. ^^;

Maybe. ^^;;

there's no time!

2008-05-07T23:40:01Z

I've been pretty busy lately, but still been doing things here and there.

I'm not really up to date on March Comes in like a Lion... if it so happens that raws aren't
available online anymore I'll look into purchasing the tanks later to scan. There's no way
I'm getting I'm getting Young Animal shipped to me, I don't read anything else in it.

I took interest in Hachi One Diver, a drama based off a Shogi Manga.
It was alright, but I was too busy filling my desktop with episodes of Kimi Hannin Janai
Yo Ne? Because I can't not watch "crime of the week" shows. Even though it's kind of
boring me to tears. :(

I've seen a bunch of other dramas in my little spare time, and I guess there's nothing I'm too
interested in right now; but I liked the theme song of Osen so much I listened to it like 8 times
today at work. It's Micro from Def Tech (they broke up, it only seemed like yesterday when Catch and
Wave movie and Brother Beat was on TV). The song is called Odore, meaning I guess well, dance.
I guess you could dance to it but I don't know how, it almost feels like 4 songs in one; Micro really
has quite a vocal range.

Oh and finally I'm going to vent out that I don't like the opening and ending of Naruto Shippuuden
right now. I don't watch it all the time...I come and go from it because it's slow. But right now I'm iffy about
the songs. I really like to hear the alternative or rock choices and get excited to see the new featured openings
and endings but this is going down as probably my most hated opening. Sorry ^^;;

It's a dark day

2008-04-14T15:31:47Z

Just to remind all single people that April 14th is Black Day,
which is like a day for singles to commiserate while eating
JaJangMyeon/JJaJangMyun/etc. Or valiantly embrace their
singledom; whichever side of the coin you fall on I guess. ^^;

Another reason why it's a dark day: Today is the last episode
of Skins season 2. A quite, uh, edgy show from across the
ocean, and tonights episode will have a funeral or perhaps 2.
Good thing I only got into this show on Friday so I've been
able to absorb all the ups and downs in a rather timely manner.

Finally, tommorow is tax day. If you don't get it done RIGHT NOW
you're going to be having a whole dark week (or night, staying
up and doing it online. Get it done! NOW!)

working hard every night and day

2008-04-11T20:59:54Z

Right now I can hear about 2 Ambulances and a fire truck. It seems to be
that whenever the temperature gets nicer around here, the more accident prone
people become. Other sounds today are the jingling of dog leashes, birds
singing all-day-long...like 5 am (not cool, birds), an ice cream truck, and sporadic lawn
mowers as people tend to the first mow of the season. (I'm lazy and refuse to start
until next week)

I've been busy at work, but it seems some days there's a ton to do and then
almost nothing the next day. I keep snatching work before anyone else
gets to it so I'm not bored. They hired some new guy who did the whole
hand shake everyone/thing deal. Young girls never seem to handshake.
Or at least, I don't. Or I get out of doing it somehow.

For all it's worth I really hate handshakes. If I was a total nutcase I'd raise my
hand ever so slowly into the air and demand a high five just to see the response.
I just complain because I can't deal with it well at all. There's an art to it and all
and this is how I fail:

1) I will, if I can, wipe any/all surfaces before a handshake
2) I'm always looking at someones hand/the floor when I handshake.

Number 2 is one of those . . . moments as the handshaker(them)
realizes the handshakee(me) hasn't dropped something on the floor
at all. I just needed to fully make sure hands were put together and
didn't miss target or something. By that time the handshake has
gone on too long; they pull back and my head slowly raises for the
awkward stare after and ridiculously fake planted smile to occur.

....I will be a joy to work with, really. (sigh) ^^;;

shut up, nerd!

2008-03-30T23:08:05Z

I woke up this morning and found out there was a new Soompi Royale video.
So, of course the day went pretty well.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GRSgao30EVk

Wait for me! OooOOooOooo. ♥ (punch)